With a starting line-up consisting of the hosting Aces, Quattro Cane-Iz, Iranian Dutchman, Pseudo Pro and the Fat Kid, the guys played an already classic first hour: the Fat Kid took his traditional first hour chiplead with the Iranian Dutchman and the Pseudo Pro donking half their stack away. It must be said, the guy flopped top pair every time this night. -event notes say:’Fabster enters the game and makes sexual remark’- The biggest pot he won however was the result of flopping the absolute nuts (tens full) against the Pseudo Pro. The dynamic of the game anyhow changed for the first time when suddenly Uncle Fil entered the gigantic kitchen, out of the blue but packed with food, sloefkes and loads of mental bluffs.

While I was still waiting for myself, it appeared however that the Fat Kid remained completely undisturbed under these sinister circumstances. He even won another big pot against the Pseudo Pro by spiking the flushnuts on the river against a flopped two pair. The game really became a mine field for the Pseudo Pro  in this stage, as he was smoothly taken up the ass again in the next hand, when Fabster rivered a full house with A4 on a AAxx4 board against his AQ. This is when I finally reached Stalingrad myself, making an heroic entrance on the musical notes of ‘Thick As A Brick’, the best song of all time. And why wait for a smoke break if you can have one right away?

I just sat down to play a couple of hands when this sick game took another turn as the doorbell rang again. A few seconds later the table was stunned once more: there was Grinder, coming right from the Golden Circle where he dodged a babysit. This was the final blow for me: not only was there suddenly an aggressive player right in front of me, but also the Toilet Per Person rate in the room dropped to 1/9 at that point. Like that wasn’t already enough, Grinder immediately started a second round of collectively ridiculizing me by making compliments at my ‘epic  haircut’. His other neighbour (Aces) also suffered from his presence, as he headed towards a first losing session.

But except for Fabster, who collected some important points for the second place battle, there was only one big winner in Event 8: Fat Kid. This time he stayed focused like a chess-player, remained calm if somebody asked im if he had a full house after a final bet on the river (“Neje.”) and didn’t hesitate to fire river bets the size of 500 big blinds. He revealed his secret after the game as he confessed that he had eentje kroemgetrokke earlier that week. Curious when that starts to work for me, as I’m experiencing  a negative correlation on that matter.

As I forgot to take pictures this night, I will present an extra brand new BiscottiPoker feature this week: BiscottiPoker Classics. We’ll kick off with an historic moment from Quattro Cane-Iz, as I thank him for contributing the smooth graph to the leaderboard.

BiscottiPoker Classics: Cane-Iz shows the table the first straight flush of our homegame during the hot spring of 1984.

Leaderboard (total points+latest result):

1. Aces  266 (-34)

2. Quattro Cane-Iz 87 (-28)

3. Pseudo Pro   81 (+15)

4. Fabster   52 (+30)

5. Iranian Dutchman   19 (+9)

6. Gust9999   14 (-4)

7. Uncle Fil   -69 (-56)

8. Fat Kid   -72 (+103)

9. Miyagi   -160

10. Biscotti   -259 (-35)

You know those days where everything goes wrong? The day event 7 of our series was played, really was such a day for me. It means I’m definitely beat for the leaderboard now, where Aces still leads without any close pursuers. It seems that the battle for second and third place is all there’s left. For the other guys, for me it will be thrilling struggle to prevent a disappointing last place.

This tragic day already started on my way to the game, when I couldn’t find the Pseudo Pro’s house. The second disappointment followed quickly, as the presumed house  actually happened to be an iglo. You think you had it all by then, but then you enter the room and notice that all the guys around the table (Pseudo Pro, Quattro Cane-Iz, Grinder and Iranian Dutchman) plotted to bring their sloefkes. So there I am, on my weekly shag day, being the only one without sloefkes in a freezing room.

So I took my formerly black glasses and tried to make the best of it. But I quickly lost a first stack against the Iranian Dutchman with pocket queens against against A9, when the case nign dropped on the turn. This meant a first smoke break for me, which was also the moment that Fabster arrived. This guy really came to play, moving all-in on his first hand. The Iranian Dutchman gradually became  the chipleader in this stage, but when I returned from my second smoke break he shoved half his stack towards the Grinder after a failed bluff on a missed flush gutter.

I myself also missed such a flush gutter after another all-in, resulting in a final rebuy. It was the Pseudo Pro who took over the chiplead towards the end, turning his home match in a big victory and moving into third place on the leaderboard. I’m still waiting on a first winning session, lonely at the bottom of the ranking…

Leaderboard (total points+latest result):

1. Aces  300

2. Quattro Cane-Iz 115 (+6)

3. Pseudo Pro   66 (+92)

4. Fabster   22 (-18)

5. Gust9999   18 (+17)

6. Iranian Dutchman   10 (-16)

7. Uncle Fil   -13

8.  Miyagi   -160

9. Fat Kid   -175

10. Biscotti   -224 (-80)

With Aces being absent, the starting line-up consisted of Uncle Fil, Gust ‘Crushing Grinder’ 9999, Pseudo-Pro, Fabster (who was just on a lunchbreak from work), Iranian Dutchman and the LP Genesis Live. While they preserved that last one like a bottle of precious wine, it was Mister Gershwin who brought them a first musical hand, with Fabster making the last bet before the song ended, resulting in a successful bluff against Uncle Fil. This was not the last time Fabster would shove a lot of chips in the middle, certainly after he completely confused the Pseudo Pro by stating that ‘hashtag’ is an actual word used by human beings.

Luckily I brought my own hashtags, which immediately helped me to crush the Grinder’s Kings with a set of neuffies. Fabster quickly recognized the danger that had come to the table and left with 45 points, being replaced by Quattro Cane-Iz, who you can always wake up for a decent christmas party in January. But let’s face it: the Magical Flying Fabster was right in his decision to avoid Biscotti. This is something the Pseudo Pro will never learn, as he lost almost his complete stack after I figured I had the best hand. Other players would have folded in that tough spot, but by sending a lot of mental staredowns and subtly interrogating this guy, I made an heroic call.

This was the beginning of an epic period with lots of things being very epic. First I shoved with more chips than I expected against The Grinder, who was also pretty deep due to a lot of gifts by the Iranian Dutchman in the six hands he played. We splitted the pot and so did the Pseudo Pro and Quattro Cane-Iz a couple of times when the latter one catched some miracle christmas cards. This made him the second  winner of the evening, only followed by Peter Gabriel and the guy from the nightshop. Maybe Cane-Iz can still be a threat to leader Aces, or wil somebody else stand up in the four remaining events? Let’s see when the club is open.

Leaderboard (total points+latest result):

1. Aces  300

2. Quattro Cane-Iz 109 (+31)

3. Fabster   40 (+45)

4. Iranian Dutchman   26 (-17)

5. Gust9999   1 (-41)

6. Uncle Fil   -13 (+9)

7. Pseudo Pro   -26 (+3)

8. Biscotti   -144 (-29)

9. Miyagi   -160

10. Fat Kid   -175

Event 5 will go into our poker history as a key event of our series, as it was a huge graveyard. With Aces expanding his lead by running and catching like a rottweiler in kindergarten, and a large amount of points being sucked out of the ranking by freelance poker star Silent Barry, the leaderboard lost most of its tension. The only player next to Aces who could be satisfied about the turn of events is Quattro Cane-Iz, who succeeded to reach a Steady As A Rock Rating of 33.3% (winning 300 big blinds by playing 9 hands), a percentage never shown before in poker history.

No suprise, as all the other players were playing far below their level. For example the Pseudo Pro. First he shoves all-in with KJ against Cane-Iz, who was playing his first hand of the evening and showed him AK (at that moment Cane-Iz’ SAAR Rating was at it’s highest peak, that is 100%). Subsequently he picks Silent Barry to fire two gigantic bluffs at. Obviously, Barry didn’t even blink with his eyes and calls twice, quietly raking in a gazillion chips. With those chips, he became the new chipleader, after an already traditional first hour-lead of the Fat Kid.

The Iranian Dutchman and online grinder Gust9999 helplessly saw their chips being robbed by Aces, who first catched his 12th ‘one time’ river of the series against Grinder, after which he accidentally flopped a set of queens on a AQK board versus the Iranian Dutchman’s AK. Grinder managed to recover by winning a big pot against Cane-Iz, which would become the only hand Cane-Iz lost after a showdown. The Iranian Dutchman also had a comeback hand (T8 vs 98 on a 88xxT board) against freelance player El ‘Regrinder’ Frisco, who was thrown in a big depression after this hand. But he donked most of it away after Magical Miyagi supplied him with magical drinks.

So basically only me and Miyagi remained to fight against Aces and prevent him from winning the series after five events already. But I was already handicapped from the start, suffering from heavy throat pains. The only thing I could do was smoking, hoping it would go away, but this was ofcourse preventing me from playing my A game. It was Miyagi himself who gave me the final blow in a big pot. After the river, he clearly cheered because of this final card. At that moment, I was (just like the rest of the table) convinced that Miyagi hit the straight. But then he talked me into a call by saying that his brother fucks like a horse, which I thought was very suspicious. Too bad for me, his straight was helemaal completed.

But also Miyagi was very unlucky during the evening, trying to play a solid game but getting discouraged after lots of bad beats. One example was The Event Hand (half an hour before closing time), with a four way all-in between the Pseudo Pro, Cane-Iz, the Fat Kid and Miyagi. But Miyagi’s 42 didn’t hold up, resulting in another win for Cane-Iz. In the new rankings, Aces has a huge advantage on the rest now, having collected 300 points. But we’re only half way and I can’t believe this is a final: five events left, including a deep stack one, a PLO event and the Final Table with extended time.

Leaderboard (total points+latest result):

1. Aces  300 (+153)

2. Quattro Cane-Iz 78 (+60)

3. Iranian Dutchman   43 (-15)

4. Gust9999   42 (+27)

5. Fabster   -5

6. Uncle Fil   -22

7. Pseudo Pro   -29 (-70)

8. Biscotti   -115 (-28)

9. Miyagi   -160 (-160)

10. Fat Kid   -175 (-75)

As I had to have fondue with Schatje first, I provided for a live coverage by Quattro Cane-Iz through mobile phone during the first hours. I really hurried for the first train to take off when I heard that the Fat Kid was treating on a self-made candy basket after spiking a full house with his signature hand Q8 against Fabster. Besides, I heard the Pseudo Pro’s chips were up for grabs as he declared that his lungs were in his feet.

When I finally entered the theatre, I was staggered by two astonishing things. First I saw the Fat Kid raking in another great pot, making him an early chipleader once again. But then I saw something even more overwelming: a big, shiny casserole of stewed meat. Arguments between Cane-Iz, myself and the Fat Kid whether we could touch it or not quickly followed, with the Iranian Dutchman meanwhile going broke for like the seventh time, after his two pair were cracked by the Pseudo Pro’s straight.

But I realized after a while that I could not let the meat distract me any longer, after a wake-up call from the Fat Kid (“You aren’t going to gather much information by folding every hand.”). So shortly afterwards I shoved all-in against Aces and won my first pot. Aces had already become big chipleader again by then, but he got company from the Pseudo Pro after The Event Hand. It was a three way all-in between him (flopping top two), Fabster and Quattro Cane-Iz, who forgot he was holding pocket Jacks, which is always a loser. Pseudo Pro really took over when his stack expanded further after knocking out Fabster again and flopping the nut flush against the Iranian Dutchman’s Aces.

Aces and the Pseudo Pro managed to maintain their lead till the end of the evening, while I was sinking further and further. But what can I do when I shove with Kings and Fabster gets a two outer with his eights? I can only hope for more luck during the next events. After all: we’re not even half way in this series. But Aces took a big lead on his closest pursuers, the Iranian Dutchman and the Pseudo Pro. Meanwhile, me and the Fat Kid may be lying on our backs, but it takes more to knock us out once and for all.

Leaderboard (total points+latest result):

1. Aces   147 (+66)

2. Iranian Dutchman   58 (-23)

3. Pseudo Pro   41 (+70)

4. Quattro Cane-Iz 18 (-13)

5. Gust9999   15

6. Miyagi   0

7. Fabster   -5 (-2)

8. Uncle Fil   -22

9. Biscotti   -87 (-51)

10. Fat Kid   -100 (-47)

Online grinder Gust9999 hosted the third event of the HSOP,  an event without Biscotti, as he was attending the annual Record Collector’s Conference. That’s why I was sent over to write this special report. First the starting line-up for this event: apart from Grinder himself, the Fat Kid, the Iranian Dutchman, Aces and Quattro Cane-Iz were there to open the game, together with the freelance players El Frisco aka ‘The Regrinder’ and myself. The Pseudo Pro had to cancel this event last minute due to his growing involvement in the local youth movement. I’ll subdivide this report into four different periods, according to the respective chipleaders.

Part 1: Gust9999

Playing a home match, it was Grinder Gust9999 who took the chiplead during the first part of the evening. Iranian Dutchman had a promising start, but lost the lead early thanks to a cold deck against El Frisco. Holding the neuffies, he saw his opponent showing pocket Kings after all-ins on a 9TK T x board. Gust9999 took maximum advantage of this hit by taking a comfortable chiplead after winning a huge pot against Aces with a set of deuces.

Part 2: Fat Kid

The following couple of hours, the Fat Kid took over. He first handed out a mental hit by answering the Iranian Dutchman’s proposal to invest in a pub of him and the Pseudo Pro with “I don’t think so.”. Then he became chipleader thanks to winning four decent pots in a row, showing us a mixture of marvellous calls and sick bluffs. His victory was completed by a huge pot with a set of sevens against my pocket Kings.

Part 3: The Iranian Dutchman

Meanwhile, Fabster had entered the game, just like Uncle Fil, who debuted in the Series. It was however the Iranian Dutchman who took over control, as he got his chips directly from the Fat Kid. They played a couple of well sized pots, with the Fat Kid experiencing some serious kicker problems. But also Gust9999′s stack began to grow again, first after knocking out Uncle Fil with two pair against an ambitious Jack high bluff. But Grinder wasn’t finished yet: he also knocked out El ‘Regrinder’ Frisco after turning the nuts. Frisco’s hand was best described by Aces as “What do you have left except for the bus home?”.

Part 4: Aces

It happened to be the announcement of what was to come. Aces had already expanded his stack during the last hour, but 10 minutes before the ranking closed, The Event Hand was played. His opponent was Fabster, floating eight miles high above the table at that moment. With the turn being dealt, he shoved with toppair (Jack) and a flushdraw (Diamonds). Aces took his time and called eventually with AdKd, two overs and a better flushdraw. Fabster was decided to run it one time, resulting in a King on the river. This way, he became the big winner of the evening. He’s sharing the lead now with the Iranian Dutchman, with Quattro ‘steady as a rock’ Cane-Iz and Grinder following after a decent gap.

Leaderboard (total points+latest result):

1. Aces   81 (+76)

1. Iranian Dutchman   81 (+23)

3. Quattro Cane-Iz   31 (0)

4. Gust9999   15 (+25)

5. Miyagi   0

6. Fabster   -3 (-23)

7. Uncle Fil   -22 (-22)

8. Pseudo Pro   -29

9. Biscotti   -36

10. Fat Kid   -53 (-13)

I was late due to some extensive cooking again and this caused me to miss some important information about the hands that were played in the beginning. A small overview of situations that happened before my arrival, with the starting line-up consisting of Quattro Cane-Iz, the Iranian Dutchman, Grinder Gust9999, Pseudo-Pro and the Fat Kid:

- a little agrarian lesson by the Fat Kid: a pig is slaughtered at the weight of 100 kilograms

- a complete and collective degradation of the game of ‘Deuces Wild’

- a battle of words between the Fat Kid and Grinder after the latter forgot to put in his big blind

- Cane-Iz catching quads (Aces) once again, against the Pseudo Pro

Biscotti. Cooking.

Then I and Fabster arrived and I immediately had some swings: I lost a big pot against the Iranian Dutchman after this lucky boy catched running Kings against my flopped Aces and shortly afterwards I beat the Pseudo Pros flusdraw with top two pair. What followed was Mental Hour, with some extreme strong hands being showed. The ‘One Time’ Fat Kid already announced what was about to come with his all-in with Tens up against the Pseudo Pros toppair. But for me it all started when Aces had arrived from a Mexican trip, just in time to hold the Ace high flush against my STRAIGHT FLUSH! Obviously I got this sweet picture for you (thanks to my baby who advised me to wear the diamonds sweater that night). But it didn’t stop here, it really looked like we were playing an online cashgame on Unibet when Fabster also catched quad Aces some minutes later. To catch it is one thing, but he also maximized his profits against the Iranian Dutchman by playing it like an anxious rabbit in a hole surrounded by East-German foxes on steroids.

Next to arriving late I will avoid one other thing during the next events: taking a sanitary break. When I returned, I got the feeling they had just plotted a plan together to distract me for the rest of the evening. Especially Grinder Gust9999 was very clear about his intensions, he just accused me of putting shit on the cards to mark them after returning from the toilet. Then I got a phone call from my baby during which the Fat Kid was continuously making obscene gestures. I was never able to get back into this game, certainly not after Cane-Iz got Aces another time against me, just before the playing time for the ranking was about to end. This way Fabster and Cane-Iz became the big winners of the evening, and are now forming an elite group at the top of the ranking together with the Iranian Dutchman. The Fat Kid, the Pseudo Pro and myself have some serious work to next time!

Leaderboard (total points+latest result):

1. Iranian Dutchman   58 (-27)

2. Quattro Cane-Iz   31 (+30)

3. Fabster   20 (+45)

4. Aces   5 (+5)

5. Miyagi   0

6. Uncle Fil   0

7. Gust9999   -10 (+10)

8. Pseudo Pro   -29 (-7)

9. Biscotti   -36 (-17)

10. Fat Kid -40 (-40)

I was totally ready for this evening, bringing in some extra chairs and no drinks. Three contenders showed up for the starting line-up: the Pseudo-Pro, Quattro Cane-Iz and the Iranian Sick Minded Dutchman; the Fat Kid had to cancel because of a bowling night with the Liberal Federation of Rich Capitalists. Before getting to business, we retrieved some memories from the beautiful year 1994 together. But when the Pseudo-Pro suddenly grabbed a strange bottle of booze, I realised this was the perfect moment to get his money. So we set up the game and I chose this soon to be drunk guy to pick on the rest of evening.

The tensions grew after I called him ‘lucky boy’ after one of his suck-outs. But he only started to explode thanks to my casual ‘well played’ after he lost a decent pot. Unlucky for the Iranian Sick Minded Dutchman, who was called by him after a steamy all-in with Ace high. I think he had absolutely no clue what he was doing at that moment. He tilted some more, but suddenly, he had 300 big blinds in front of his nose instead of steaming broke.

Adam ‘Fabster’ B. meanwhile had also joined the game and all the chips of the ISMD were in the middle once again when he had QT on a TTxx board against the JT of the Pseudo-Pro. A Queen on the river launched the steaming moron totally back in the game, making him the new chipleader. After I went broke after a reckless shove with the signature T6, Cane-Iz also shoved with his Jacks against Fabster’s top pair on a 9 high board. His hand held up and while Fabster’s mood could best be described as ‘crying asleep’, Cane-Iz gave him the needle by stating ‘keep calling my all-ins, they always end up sweet against you’.

Pseudo-Pro: I should have raised the flop.

Biscotti: Yes.

With about 2 hours of play left, the game completely changed when online grinder Gust9999 entered the game. After he played a couple of hands, his goals for The Concept were clear: PURE OWNAGE. He ruled the table for about 40 minutes, catched quads and heavily packed out aganst the Pseudo-Pro, stating ‘next time you better just give me your chips’ and even giving him the finger after this guy mistakenly grabbed some chips from him. The best hand I got meanwhile was T6, obviously, and this time my move with it turned out better:

With 30 minutes left and Fabster already gone again, there was only one battle left, the battle for The Concept lead, the battle for the yellow jersey, between The Grinder and the ISMD, with a little advantage for the first one. But he lost a big pot against the Pseudo-Pro 5 minutes later, bringing the Sick Mind in the lead. Then The Event Hand was played: after reraising it up preflop with KcKh the flop comes all hearts. Grinder makes a pot-sized bet, is raised and calls. With a King on the turn he calls all-in to see the Iranian Dutchman have AhTh, a disaster for Gust9999 and a huge chiplead for the Dutchman. This results in the following standings for The Concept:

1. Iranian Dutchman         85

2. Quattro Cane-Iz            1

3. Aces                           0

4. Fat Kid                         0

5. Miyagi                          0

6. Uncle Fil                       0

7. Biscotti                      -19

8. Gust9999                    -20

9. Pseudo Pro                  -22

10. Fabster                     -25

The beginning of the night was kind of depressing, as everybody was disappointed by the disappearance of The Wall. As you know, the wall is the wall and it’s hard to replace such monuments. I myself was more touched by it then I could have imagined, resulting in the loss of some big pots early on.

Especially the Fat Kid took advantage of this, quickly becoming one happy chipleader in the beginning, as you can see on the picture. His aggression was overwhelming and went beyond the game, as he personally excluded the new player on the table from participating in our new project. Few minutes later my first buy-in was already gone when my AK lost to the J9 of the Pseudo Pro. I tried to soothe the atmosphere by introducing my wife but this was fruitless: the Pseudo Pro took a chunk of my stack by professionally Ivo’ing me and the Fat Kid crushed Cane-Iz’ pair of fours with AK.

Rebuys followed each other quickly and cold decks were rather rule instead of exception. First the Iranian Dutchman doubled thanks to a flush over flush against the new guy and subsequently it was my turn to double with T7 against the Pseudo Pro’s 65 on a T654 board, winning both river runs (pic). I expected everything to run smoothly from this moment on, sitting back for a while with the inspiring sounds of Mister Bob Marley on the background. But then came the turning point of the evening with a fatal cola crash of the new guy. Absolute chipleader Pseudo Pro was so distracted that he started to clean the whole room like a prostyle houseman, losing his complete stack of a gazillion big blinds shortly afterwards by watering the table with chips.

Meanwhile  Adam ‘Fabster’ B. entered the game and I placed his shallow stack between Cane-Iz and myself, ready to eat this fresh fish. However, this plan failed completely when he ate my stack by beating my two pair with a dirty set.  This was a big mental hit, because I’d just doubled with a tremendous call with JT against the Iranian Dutchman’s QT on a KJxx board. As you see, every player experienced some big up & downs, nobody could escape from it. Even the Fat Kid had a mental breakdown, suddenly confessing he lost the love of his life by playing at our homegame instead of visiting the local pubs in his hometown. One player however was able to turn the tides right on time, Quatro Cane-Iz. After putting on The Very Best of the Hollies, he went like a crazy pokermotherfucker for an hour and collected an enormous stack. I believe he even missed the blitz visit of online grinder Gust9999, who just returned from Spain, spending his online profits.

And Biscotti? In the end I even ran break-even thanks to tripling up with a flusdraw (as you see, my shoves are faster than the speed of light) and some extreme luck in the legendary luckgames. Till next time, when it’ll be serious business with this new concept going on. More about that later. Ciao!

…LEONOR MARGETZ!

Leonor (or ‘Leo’, as friends and insiders are allowed to say) claimed her fame recently in the WSOP Main Event 2009, where she had a very deep run. She was struggling for a long time with Tiffany Michelle to become the last woman standing in that tournament and in the end Tiffany won the battle. But she’s NOT hot! And she DOESN”T have a Biscotti Queen! PICZ:

[Show as slideshow]

I completely melt when I see her pictures, although trip eights is not my favorite starting hand. Here is my top 5 favorite starting hands:

1. T 6 off (it’s just superstition)

2. 5 6 (suited or not, it’s so easy to flop a straight with this hand)

3. AA on the button (nobody gives you credit for a hand)

4. JJ on the Hijack (you always win in the long run with this hand on this position)

5. TT ( I once lost a big pot against Quattro Cane-Iz with this hand, so I’m trying to take revenge)