Hello you poker fellas and all the donks that come here to learn from my great plays. It’s going pretty well with Biscotti lately. I’m designing some great buildings with the best sanitary provisions that Europe has ever known. I’m fitnessing like hell to replace Bruce Willis in the next Die Hard movie. And I’m becoming a really rich motherfucker from all the online money I’m making at the pokertables.

After all the work is done and the gym is closed, I prepare myself some of the already famous Biscotti-meals, which have the amount of calories where you can feed an entire African village with. I get myself something sweet to smoke and pour in a nice glass of whiskey, which I can drink properly again after the recovery of my gullet. Then I turn on my computer and start playing poker online. When the night falls and the bad guys go robbing old ladies on the street, Biscotti goes robbing all the donkeys that are out there on the net .

Like yesterday, I made a $56 profit just sitting on three $.10/.20 tables. One hand was the best: I was holding T9 and on the river the board was 8 7 K 5 6, no flush possibilities. So I bet it and, I’m NOT kidding, this guy (we are both deepstack) reraises me. So I make a small reraise again, as I hold El Nutzo. And then he reraises me AGAIN! So I shove my last chips, he calls and shows me a 9! LOL ship it fish! I think I’m gonna spend some more nights at the Pacific .

Aloha everybody. Like you can already deduct from the jolly words of welcome, I’m in a good mood again. Why? Because I scored an official hattrick the other day, beating my homegame for the third time in a row. These guys really have no chance anymore sitting in a hand with me.

The line-up was promised to be enormous as a group of beginners were supposed to sit down with us. So I prepared my meal on time and took off for the game. But what did I see when I entered the room? Only four guys sitting down, with the two rocks, the iranian dutchman and some other fat kid which for some reason substituted the former one. Like they were trying to trap me or something. Moreover, they were trying to fool me by saying that it was the Iranian’s birthday. These guys really go all the way to disturb my concentration. But I didn’t fall for it and even the horrible music they were playing  (from Animals or something) couldn’t break me: I sticked to my plan of just waiting for the donkeys to walk in.

One by one they entered the room and I observed them like a tiger does with his prey. One guy was even so impressed by my staredown that he made a little impression of it while sitting on the table:

So I was sitting their with something sweet to smoke while the first pot evolved which reminded me of following the right tactics: the ‘birthday-boy’ won a pretty huge threeway pot with just middle pair (I can still hear his arrogant ‘King is good’). From that moment on it was basically three players ruling the table, all three waiting like raptors to eat a donk now and then: me, dutchman and the guy who was soon to be known as ‘Quattro Cane-Iz’ when he spiked quads against a full boat.

I was also able to let some guys pay me maximally while holding El Nutzo but the sickest pot was for dutchman, who looked down at his cards and before he had even noticed that it were two kings, three other players had shoved their chips in with AQ, KJ and 88. Always hard to see that bastard win a great pot, he’s even more annoying after that. Luckily this wasn’t the most heroic pot of the evening, because before Boatman went broke against the quads, he played heads-up against some of the newbies and that one put in €0.10 bet on the river into a pot of like 6€. Then Boatman minraised to €0.20, like in a real duel. The newbie called and showed him the winning middle pair. You got to love this game.