Hello you poker fellas and all the donks that come here to learn from my great plays. It’s going pretty well with Biscotti lately. I’m designing some great buildings with the best sanitary provisions that Europe has ever known. I’m fitnessing like hell to replace Bruce Willis in the next Die Hard movie. And I’m becoming a really rich motherfucker from all the online money I’m making at the pokertables.

After all the work is done and the gym is closed, I prepare myself some of the already famous Biscotti-meals, which have the amount of calories where you can feed an entire African village with. I get myself something sweet to smoke and pour in a nice glass of whiskey, which I can drink properly again after the recovery of my gullet. Then I turn on my computer and start playing poker online. When the night falls and the bad guys go robbing old ladies on the street, Biscotti goes robbing all the donkeys that are out there on the net .

Like yesterday, I made a $56 profit just sitting on three $.10/.20 tables. One hand was the best: I was holding T9 and on the river the board was 8 7 K 5 6, no flush possibilities. So I bet it and, I’m NOT kidding, this guy (we are both deepstack) reraises me. So I make a small reraise again, as I hold El Nutzo. And then he reraises me AGAIN! So I shove my last chips, he calls and shows me a 9! LOL ship it fish! I think I’m gonna spend some more nights at the Pacific .

Biscotti played some tables online this week because the guys from the homegame don’t dare to play against me anymore for a while. I faced an enormous bad beat in an hold’em tournament but then I tried to play another game, more specific Pot Limit Omaha. I immediately pwned that game and took down a great pot with a hand I played like a genius.

Now look at the ridiculous hold’em situation:

So I’m the chipleader of the table and I flop an OESD ánd a flushdraw, while the other big stack just moves all-in on the flop. As my hand is of course huge I call immediately. However, the pot odds were not completely justifying a call there but you have to kick people out to win a tournament. The replayer says I’m a four to one dog there but I think that’s not correct because of all the draws I have. However, the turn is a cooler.

Then I played some Pot Limit Omaha and I made a brilliant play:

The replay is a little fucked up, but it couldn’t be more obvious how good I play this hand. I just call all this guy’s bets because I know I’m beat so that’s a very good play. But on the river I know I have the best hand but CHECK towards him with quads! Of course I reraise him and he sees that I’m rewarded on the river for my good plays on flop and turn.

You can do all the math you want and keep trying to read your opponent for hours, but hey: in poker you have to gamble sometimes. I played a tournament on Full Tilt Poker a few minutes ago and I’ve got some special hands selected for people like Howard Lederer and Barry Greenstein who sometimes forget that you can win a pot with every hand.

Biscotti was up a few chips when he got the T9 off suit. Now maybe you don’t like these kinda hands, especially from the small blind, I do:

Especially when someone goes all-in I like to come over the top when possible and isolate him: there’s a good chance I have two live cards here so it’s a good opportunity to double up in a tournament. I even happened to be a big favorite against this donk. Then I got the 97 suited, also a hand I fell in love with:

I decide to do a little minraise to get some chips in the pot but again, but someone feels the urgent need to shove all-in preflop. This moron was holding the QT off, how bad are they playing at Full Tilt? So I think it’s kinda justice that I make a straight and double up here. A few moments later I was eliminated but I don’t really care because I know now there’s plenty of money to win over there. Greetz!