Another homegame, another profit. Not as much as last times, but the winning streak of Biscotti is still alive: I DON’T lose in these games anymore. It’s all about paying attention baby.

I was perfectly on time this time and at 8.30 pm it was gameon! It all started reasonably peaceful (lots of limper’s pots), but while the fat kid was mentioning he would like to see the hamster of the girl next door, I lost a first big pot with AK, which I played like a moron against someone’s AJ. I simply had to know those guys overplay this kinda hands when an Ace pairs. Luckily I won a big pot when I flopped top set and filled up to a full house against the Iranian monkey. I have to admit he controlled the damage with his QQ, having a good read on me.

After that pot the circus had definitely opened it’s doors: players entered the pot on the flop (leading out immediately), checking after a double straddle and stating they had a royal straight. Mr. Miyagi even made a straddle on the button, LOL. But I also have to admit something in this case: this move was the beginning of his impressive comeback in the game. This in contradiction to Boatman, who wants to help me building houses, but maybe I’ll have to teach him something about variance in poker instead: a big overbet on the flop with JJ meant one of his scarce pots of the evening.

I was not able to build a very big stack the rest of the evening as I didn’t (in contradiction to Quattro Cane-Iz) catch a flush on EVERY board… But my six euros profit was enough to buy me some bingo scratch cards which brought me a profit of 20€ total! Oh yeah, one more hand to mention: I was very proud of myself when I played the 72, but I wasn’t man enough to play it till the river. Me catching a runner runner set of sevens would have been the result against two all-ins… But hey, after the game I had a good spierring at home, because that’s what I do. Biscotti FTW!

Hello you poker fellas and all the donks that come here to learn from my great plays. It’s going pretty well with Biscotti lately. I’m designing some great buildings with the best sanitary provisions that Europe has ever known. I’m fitnessing like hell to replace Bruce Willis in the next Die Hard movie. And I’m becoming a really rich motherfucker from all the online money I’m making at the pokertables.

After all the work is done and the gym is closed, I prepare myself some of the already famous Biscotti-meals, which have the amount of calories where you can feed an entire African village with. I get myself something sweet to smoke and pour in a nice glass of whiskey, which I can drink properly again after the recovery of my gullet. Then I turn on my computer and start playing poker at pacificpoker. When the night falls and the bad guys go robbing old ladies on the street, Biscotti goes robbing all the donkeys that are out there on the net .

Like yesterday, I made a $56 profit just sitting on three $.10/.20 tables. One hand was the best: I was holding T9 and on the river the board was 8 7 K 5 6, no flush possibilities. So I bet it and, I’m NOT kidding, this guy (we are both deepstack) reraises me. So I make a small reraise again, as I hold El Nutzo. And then he reraises me AGAIN! So I shove my last chips, he calls and shows me a 9! LOL ship it fish! I think I’m gonna spend some more nights at the Pacific .

Aloha everybody. Like you can already deduct from the jolly words of welcome, I’m in a good mood again. Why? Because I scored an official hattrick the other day, beating my homegame for the third time in a row. These guys really have no chance anymore sitting in a hand with me.

The line-up was promised to be enormous as a group of beginners were supposed to sit down with us. So I prepared my meal on time and took off for the game. But what did I see when I entered the room? Only four guys sitting down, with the two rocks, the iranian dutchman and some other fat kid which for some reason substituted the former one. Like they were trying to trap me or something. Moreover, they were trying to fool me by saying that it was the Iranian’s birthday. These guys really go all the way to disturb my concentration. But I didn’t fall for it and even the horrible music they were playing  (from Animals or something) couldn’t break me: I sticked to my plan of just waiting for the donkeys to walk in.

One by one they entered the room and I observed them like a tiger does with his prey. One guy was even so impressed by my staredown that he made a little impression of it while sitting on the table:

So I was sitting their with something sweet to smoke while the first pot evolved which reminded me of following the right tactics: the ‘birthday-boy’ won a pretty huge threeway pot with just middle pair (I can still hear his arrogant ‘King is good’). From that moment on it was basically three players ruling the table, all three waiting like raptors to eat a donk now and then: me, dutchman and the guy who was soon to be known as ‘Quattro Cane-Iz’ when he spiked quads against a full boat.

I was also able to let some guys pay me maximally while holding El Nutzo but the sickest pot was for dutchman, who looked down at his cards and before he had even noticed that it were two kings, three other players had shoved their chips in with AQ, KJ and 88. Always hard to see that bastard win a great pot, he’s even more annoying after that. Luckily this wasn’t the most heroic pot of the evening, because before Boatman went broke against the quads, he played heads-up against some of the newbies and that one put in €0.10 bet on the river into a pot of like 6€. Then Boatman minraised to €0.20, like in a real duel. The newbie called and showed him the winning middle pair. You got to love this game.

Biscotti played some tables online this week because the guys from the homegame don’t dare to play against me anymore for a while. I faced an enormous bad beat in an hold’em tournament but then I tried to play another game, more specific Pot Limit Omaha. I immediately pwned that game and took down a great pot with a hand I played like a genius.

Now look at the ridiculous hold’em situation:

So I’m the chipleader of the table and I flop an OESD ánd a flushdraw, while the other big stack just moves all-in on the flop. As my hand is of course huge I call immediately. However, the pot odds were not completely justifying a call there but you have to kick people out to win a tournament. The replayer says I’m a four to one dog there but I think that’s not correct because of all the draws I have. However, the turn is a cooler.

Then I played some Pot Limit Omaha and I made a brilliant play:

The replay is a little fucked up, but it couldn’t be more obvious how good I play this hand. I just call all this guy’s bets because I know I’m beat so that’s a very good play. But on the river I know I have the best hand but CHECK towards him with quads! Of course I reraise him and he sees that I’m rewarded on the river for my good plays on flop and turn.

Yes ladies and gentlemen, we had a homegame again the other night with the same bunch of people and guess what? Biscotti entered the room, had a look at all the poor guys and left with some 45 € profit. I have to admit, I was running reasonably good. No, I was running like hell.

I made my first move of the evening when I was not even sitting on the table yet. I decided to cook a nice and healthy meal for myself when the game was already supposed to be on for like an hour. This way I got the players sitting on the table a little on tilt already. Besides, healthy meals keep me in great shape so I can conquer some grapes in the near future. My second move was wearing an awesome distracting tshirt. While everybody was guessing after what was exactly on it, I picked up a full boat with my Hellmuths and doubled up against the fat kid. He was so confused by my genious play that he decided to go broke another two times in like seven minutes.

The Turkish guy meanwhile used his own methods to command the table: he just threatened to pound one’s player head with a ‘matrak’. I guess that must be some archaic Turkish weapon or something. He happened to have picked up a new 32 year old girlfriend from South-America btw, I think she must be hot because I think all South American women are hot. We played some more hands and the Iranian Dutchman, who was dressed like a moron but nothing new there, was having (I have to admit) an awesome read on the table. That sucked in one particular hand, where I flopped a set of jacks. I led out immediately and he mucked his toppair stating I had exactly this hand. I tried to throw in a little bad acting by saying I had AK (also toppair) but he didn’t believe it  from the start.

I was able to build up a nice stack the rest of the evening, playing aggresively against the two rocks and having patience against the loose jobless guy, who played almost 90% of the hands. That’s my formula of winning every time: outflop the good players and outplay the bad players. That’s how I rule my kingdom!

Hey don’t say that’s just like my opinion, because it’s Gus Hansen who states it on Poker After Dark. Gus Hansen is playing with five hot grapes on this episode and Clonie makes a very good lay down:

Wow, Gus Hansen is really sitting in heaven here with all the pretty ladies. Did you notice how hot Vanessa Rousso is with that hat? I have kind of the same hat baby! But what the hell: is Erika Schoenberg really engaged to David Benyamine??!!! So this chick isn’t only very pretty but she can also cook very good? I choose you Erika, marry me!

Btw, I was at a party the other day and I had a great time. I didn’t plan to party at first but then we ran into some American chicks from Los Angeles and they decided to go to the party with Biscotti. When we had arrived over there I didn’t see them anymore but I couldn’t care less because the DJ was playing Caravan Palace, awesome. In the end I was kicked from the festival area because some security moron thought I was doin’ drugs, like I didn’t stop already for like a gazillion times. Party was over anyway so I didn’t care. Tell next time!

You can do all the math you want and keep trying to read your opponent for hours, but hey: in poker you have to gamble sometimes. I played a tournament on Full Tilt Poker a few minutes ago and I’ve got some special hands selected for people like Howard Lederer and Barry Greenstein who sometimes forget that you can win a pot with every hand.

Biscotti was up a few chips when he got the T9 off suit. Now maybe you don’t like these kinda hands, especially from the small blind, I do:

Especially when someone goes all-in I like to come over the top when possible and isolate him: there’s a good chance I have two live cards here so it’s a good opportunity to double up in a tournament. I even happened to be a big favorite against this donk. Then I got the 97 suited, also a hand I fell in love with:

I decide to do a little minraise to get some chips in the pot but again, but someone feels the urgent need to shove all-in preflop. This moron was holding the QT off, how bad are they playing at Full Tilt? So I think it’s kinda justice that I make a straight and double up here. A few moments later I was eliminated but I don’t really care because I know now there’s plenty of money to win over there. Greetz!

And STILL she is ALL-IN with the Jack Five off on this picture:

So I told you about her nice tits last time and here I got the evidence for you! I think Mike Matusow can never call this bet. However, I like her more when she wears her hat on the poker table, like on the second picture. Maybe that’s because I started wearing a hat myself this summer and I like it very much. I think Phil Laak likes her because of her awesome poker skills and her nice sense of humour. But hey, Jennifer Tilly is of course not the hottest girl in (poker) town. My true favorite is from Sweden and is called Cecilia Nordenstam. Look at this cute baby: 

I discovered this grape on the EPT broadcasts where she had some pretty impressive performances. But Cecilia has a lot of guts and isn’t scared from playing in high stakes games with other Swedish players like Martin De Kniff and Alexander Stevic. That last one is also her boyfriend… I think Simon & Garfunkel were singing about her. It must have been.

Hell yeah, I love poker! What’s a better occasion for writing a first post on my brand new blog than a fine homegame in which Biscotti played one of his best games?

I didn’t make too much profit but that wasn’t the most important goal yesterday. I didn’t play for some time with these guys in a live game as I stopped playing for a while because of all the bad luck I always had. Besides, I had to make some masterpieces at school. But I felt like playing again, brought along my ‘unabomber-glasses’ (I don’t think Phil Laak is that great a player but his girlfriend Jen Tilly has very nice tits) and they’ll all remember for a while that Biscotti was there.

After all, I didn’t start that well. I misplayed my toppair against the loser to my left, who always gets an enormous ego-boost when you tell him you’re afraid of his idiotic raises and then donks all his money away. I had to rebuy some moments later but with my second bullet I hit a lot of targets. I had a LOT of patience when I was shortstack again and then it was time to shine: that pseudo-pro, that arrogant Dutch monkey and the other jobless guy, a Turkish guy with a weapon, two tight fuckers of which one went broke against the other (AQ vs AA, LOL donkaments) and the fat kid: I won pots from everybody in any position. Basically, the only thing I didn’t win that evening was the hot chick that was in the room next door.